Germany's 'Stoketoberfest' is Like Octoberfest, Only With Orgies
Source – Welcome to Stoketoberfest, an unofficial and very naughty offshoot of Munich’s famous Oktoberfest, which makes the annual booze marathon look like a children’s tea party.
This secret festival, where revellers heartily embrace the instruction to “leave their inhibitions at the door”, has proved a hit with Brits who are flocking to Bavaria’s capital for the three-week Oktoberfest. …
Mancunian visitor Dan, 27, tells me: “I arrived last night and have already slept with five girls. …
But if I thought today could not get any more debaucherous I was wrong. …
Half-naked fire breathers are performing risqué tricks while naughty guests writhe on the ground. Naked mannequins loom in the corners of the room.
Nearby, young couples are piling into the “kissing booth”. It’s not just for kissing on the lips,” giggles one girl, as she drags a guy towards it.
She tells me her name is Amy and she is a 22-year-old film student from Kent. “I was meant to go to Oktoberfest but I didn’t make it,” she adds, laughing.
The guy she is snogging chips in: “It’s all beer, boobs, and bonking here — what’s not to love?” …
For just 60 euros (£53) a night you arrive to your pre-erected tent and for ten euros a day you get unlimited beer, sangria and food.
People start queuing for booze from 8am. …
“We didn’t quite make it to Oktoberfest,” giggles a pretty brunette, who’s sandwiched between two handsome guys — all three naked after having a threesome.
“We’ve only left the tent to top up on beer,” she continues, before turning and kissing the boys.
If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, you’ve got to hand it to the Germans. No people on Earth can marry form and function the way they can. No one has their genius for stylish design mixed with ruthless efficiency. Granted, historically that hasn’t always worked out well for the rest of the world. But when it comes to things like creating high-performance driving machines, precision time pieces and moderately priced autumnal beer-and-sex orgies, nobody can touch them.
To be clear, Stoketoberfest is the kind of thing I wouldn’t get within a million kilometers of. As much as the idea of a cheap day of quality old world beer and Bavarian food that starts at 8am speaks to me, I’ve lived a good life without ever being the second dong in at a FMM 3-way in a tent and I have no intention of starting now. But even if I was 22 and single, I’m convinced this is something I’d give a wide berth to. Fire breathers and naughty people writhing on the ground and sex with five women in one day sounds great in theory, but in reality would probably just be awkward and disappointing.
I guess it’s just a cultural thing. Like if you’re coming from some other part of Europe to this, it’s not that huge a culture shock. When your country spent centuries obsessing over whether the King could knock somebody up, heard the Heir to the Throne have phone sex while cheating on his wife, seen Kate Middleton naked (SFW ish) and seen Meghan Markle pretend to give road head on 90210, then “beer, boobs and boinking” with a bunch of tourists probably just sounds like a day at EPCOT for us. But that’s too much of a reach for an American. In the way divers have to come up to the surface slow so they don’t get the bends, I feel like I’d need to work my way up to Stoketoberfest, maybe with a weekend in Montreal, a week in Vegas and then like a month in Amsterdam. Just to acclimate myself.
“Leave your inhibitions at the door”? No thanks. I like to keep my inhibitions with me at all times.